Gen:21:25: And Abraham reproved Abimelech because of a well of water, which Abimelech's servants had violently taken away.

Gen:21:27: And Abraham took sheep and oxen, and gave them unto Abimelech; and both of them made a covenant.

Gen:21:31: Wherefore he called that place Beer-sheba; because there they sware both of them.

This is the same Abimelech whom Abraham caused so much grief by letting him sleep with his sister and wife, Sarah. Both of these incidents are repeated again with Abimelech and Isaac, in chapter 26:

Gen:26:6: And Isaac dwelt in Gerar:
Gen:26:7: And the men of the place asked him of his wife; and he said, She is my sister: for he feared to say, She is my wife; lest, said he, the men of the place should kill me for Rebekah; because she was fair to look upon.
Gen:26:8: And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife.
Gen:26:9: And Abimelech called Isaac, and said, Behold, of a surety she is thy wife: and how saidst thou, She is my sister? And Isaac said unto him, Because I said, Lest I die for her.

Gen:26:26: Then Abimelech went to him from Gerar, and Ahuzzath one of his friends, and Phichol the chief captain of his army.
Gen:26:27: And Isaac said unto them, Wherefore come ye to me, seeing ye hate me, and have sent me away from you?
Gen:26:28: And they said, We saw certainly that the LORD was with thee: and we said, Let there be now an oath betwixt us, even betwixt us and thee, and let us make a covenant with thee;

Gen:26:31: And they rose up betimes in the morning, and sware one to another: and Isaac sent them away, and they departed from him in peace.
Gen:26:32: And it came to pass the same day, that Isaac's servants came, and told him concerning the well which they had digged, and said unto him, We have found water.
Gen:26:33: And he called it Shebah: therefore the name of the city is Beer-sheba unto this day.

Do you feel a sense of déjà vu here? It is highly unlikely that such a bizarre incident occurred to Abimelech twice, once with the father and once with the son. It's even more unlikely that they both would've entered into a similar oath on the same spot and renamed the well the same name again for the same reason.

Gen:22:1: And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, here I am.

According to James It cannot be true that God tempted Abraham:

Jms:1:13: Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:

James says God cannot tempt any man. Genesis says God tempted a man. If we believe James, we cannot believe Genesis. If we believe Genesis, we cannot believe James. If we say Genesis and James are both part of the Bible, then we cannot believe the Bible.

Gen:22:2: And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

Isaac was not Abraham’s "only" son. Abraham’s other son was Ishmael (Gen. 16:15).

Gen:22:9: And they came to the place which God had told him of; and Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar upon the wood.
Gen:22:10: And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.
Gen:22:11: And the angel of the LORD called unto him out of heaven, and said, Abraham, Abraham: and he said, Here am I.
Gen:22:12: And he said, Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me.

God, who 'reads all hearts' (1 Chron. 28:9) didn't know if Abraham was devoted to him until he showed himself ready, willing, and able to murder his son.

It is strange that Abraham complies with God’s order without a word of protest. This is supposedly the same Abraham who pleaded for the lives of the people of Sodom and Gomorrah (Gen 18:24-32). Yet when it comes to his own son, he says not a word.

Try to imagine what we, today, would think of someone who told us he heard voices (God's voice, no less) telling him to kill his son. We'd put him away as quickly as possible, wouldn't we? But here Abraham does the same irrational act and gets rewarded for it by God.

In my opinion, Abraham failed the test miserably. He should have said, 'Listen, God, I love you and all that, but if this is the sort of proof you need, forget it! I won't kill for you, especially not my own son. And if you think that means I don't love you enough, well, that's your problem.'

How is this God of the Bible any better than the god Molech whom God despises in Jeremiah 31:35 for accepting the burned-alive bodies of the Israelites' children? There, he rightly calls such a thing a sin, but when he asked Abraham to do the very same thing, that was all right and proved Abraham a righteous man!

What is the supposed "moral" of this story for our day? To obey the orders of authority without question, no matter how immoral they may strike us? That was exactly the attitude of the (predominantly Christian) German people when Hitler came to power. They made very good Nazis.

Gen:22:13: And Abraham lifted up his eyes, and looked, and behold behind him a ram caught in a thicket by his horns: and Abraham went and took the ram, and offered him up for a burnt offering in the stead of his son.

At the end of the unnecessary drama, God enjoys the murder of another innocent animal. Proving himself, yet again, the bloodthirsty deity of a barbaric ancient tribe.

Gen:25:30: And Esau said to Jacob, Feed me, I pray thee, with that same red pottage; for I am faint: therefore was his name called Edom.
Gen:25:31: And Jacob said, Sell me this day thy birthright.
Gen:25:32: And Esau said, Behold, I am at the point to die: and what profit shall this birthright do to me?
Gen:25:33: And Jacob said, Swear to me this day; and he sware unto him: and he sold his birthright unto Jacob.

Jacob sets a very poor example by refusing to feed his starving brother. Instead of showing a little human kindness, Jacob forces Esau to give up his birthright before he will give him anything to eat!

Gen:26:5: Because that Abraham obeyed my voice, and kept my charge, my commandments, my statutes, and my laws.

I wonder what those "commandments, statutes, and laws" were. The only ones given up to this point were:

1. Be fruitful, multiply, and replenish the earth (given to Noah).
2. Don’t drink blood (given to Noah),
3. Get circumcised.
4. Go to Canaan.
5. Call Sarai "Sarah".
6. Kill a heifer, two goats, and two birds.
7. Kill your son.

I guess Abraham had tried to do all of these "commandments, statutes, and laws" of God, so God felt that a fitting reward would be to allow Abraham’s descendants to murder the Canaanites and steal their land.

Gen:27:19: And Jacob said unto his father, I am Esau thy firstborn; I have done according as thou badest me: arise, I pray thee, sit and eat of my venison, that thy soul may bless me.
Gen:27:20: And Isaac said unto his son, How is it that thou hast found it so quickly, my son? And he said, Because the LORD thy God brought it to me.
Gen:27:21: And Isaac said unto Jacob, Come near, I pray thee, that I may feel thee, my son, whether thou be my very son Esau or not.
Gen:27:22: And Jacob went near unto Isaac his father; and he felt him, and said, The voice is Jacob's voice, but the hands are the hands of Esau.
Gen:27:23: And he discerned him not, because his hands were hairy, as his brother Esau's hands: so he blessed him.
Gen:27:24: And he said, Art thou my very son Esau? And he said, I am.
Gen:27:25: And he said, Bring it near to me, and I will eat of my son's venison, that my soul may bless thee. And he brought it near to him, and he did eat: and he brought him wine, and he drank.
Gen:27:26: And his father Isaac said unto him, Come near now, and kiss me, my son.
Gen:27:27: And he came near, and kissed him: and he smelled the smell of his raiment, and blessed him, and said, See, the smell of my son is as the smell of a field which the LORD hath blessed:
Gen:27:28: Therefore God give thee of the dew of heaven, and the fatness of the earth, and plenty of corn and wine:
Gen:27:29: Let people serve thee, and nations bow down to thee: be lord over thy brethren, and let thy mother's sons bow down to thee: cursed be every one that curseth thee, and blessed be he that blesseth thee.

Here we see Jacob practicing deception upon his old blind father, and outright lying to him several times in order to receive the blessing intended for his brother Esau. Remembering that this is supposed to be our "moral instruction book", I wonder what kind of an example Jacob is setting for us here.

Later, God changes Jacob’s name to Israel and he becomes the patriarch of the 12 tribes of the nation of Israel. So, Jacob is a key person in the Bible. Yet here he lies about what God has done. When Isaac asks him how he managed to murder a wild animal for him so quickly (thinking that he is Esau returning from hunting), Jacob lies by telling him "the Lord thy God brought it to me". In fact it was not the remains of a wild animal at all; it was the remains of two goats from his own flock, which his mother cooked and gave to him:

Gen:27:9: Go now to the flock, and fetch me from thence two good kids of the goats; and I will make them savoury meat for thy father, such as he loveth:
Gen:27:10: And thou shalt bring it to thy father, that he may eat, and that he may bless thee before his death.

Gen:27:14: And he went, and fetched, and brought them to his mother: and his mother made savoury meat, such as his father loved.

Gen:27:17: And she gave the savoury meat and the bread, which she had prepared, into the hand of her son Jacob.

Jacob lied about what God had done. He made up a story about God in order to further his own selfish ends and cheat his brother. Knowing that Jacob told a lie about what God gave him, how much trust would it be prudent to place in Jacob’s later claim that God gave him the land of the Canaanites (Gen. 28:13)?

Gen:27:34: And when Esau heard the words of his father, he cried with a great and exceeding bitter cry, and said unto his father, Bless me, even me also, O my father.
Gen:27:35: And he said, Thy brother came with subtilty, and hath taken away thy blessing.
Gen:27:36: And he said, Is not he rightly named Jacob? for he hath supplanted me these two times: he took away my birthright; and, behold, now he hath taken away my blessing. And he said, Hast thou not reserved a blessing for me?
Gen:27:37: And Isaac answered and said unto Esau, Behold, I have made him thy lord, and all his brethren have I given to him for servants; and with corn and wine have I sustained him: and what shall I do now unto thee, my son?

Isaac believed that words are magical. His blessing was a sort of magic incantation which, once delivered, could not be revoked, transferred, or given again. Esau asked the very same sensible question we all would’ve asked in this situation: why couldn’t Isaac bless both of his sons? We might also ask why a blessing must contain a curse. In blessing one of his sons he cursed the rest of his sons to be slaves of his favorite ("Let people serve thee, and nations bow down to thee: be lord over thy brethren, and let thy mother's sons bow down to thee")

Gen:28:1: And Isaac called Jacob, and blessed him, and charged him, and said unto him, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan.

So Isaac did have another blessing after all! He gave another blessing to Jacob after Jacob had tricked him and lied to him!

Gen:28:16: And Jacob awaked out of his sleep, and he said, Surely the LORD is in this place; and I knew it not.

Evidently Jacob didn’t believe that God was present everywhere.

Gen:28:20: And Jacob vowed a vow, saying, If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and raiment to put on,
Gen:28:21: So that I come again to my father's house in peace; then shall the LORD be my God:
Gen:28:22: And this stone, which I have set for a pillar, shall be God's house: and of all that thou shalt give me I will surely give the tenth unto thee.

Who was Jacob’s God before this, I wonder? Hadn’t Abraham and Isaac taught him about their God? Here Jacob strikes a bargain and lays out all the things God will have to do before Jacob will consider him "his" God and before he will share a tenth of his wealth with God (as if God needed Jacob’s gold, cattle, or tents!)

Gen:29:7: And he said, Lo, it is yet high day, neither is it time that the cattle should be gathered together: water ye the sheep, and go and feed them.

I think it was rather arrogant of Jacob to start ordering these strangers around.

Gen:29:18: And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.

Women were viewed as property. Here Jacob agrees to purchase his cousin Rachel from his uncle Laban for seven years wages. Has this Biblical way of regarding women been beneficial to humankind throughout history? Today we realize (at long last) that women are not "things" to be purchased or owned. They are human beings at least equal to men.

Jacob worked the seven years for Laban, but at the end of that time Laban tricked Jacob into "marrying" Leah instead of Rachel. "Marrying" in the Old Testament evidently meant having sex with someone (in this case in the dark; otherwise Jacob would’ve seen who he was "marrying"). I’ll bet that Jacob wondered why his parents had sent him to such deceitful people in order to obtain a wife! Could he have been cheated any worse than this had he taken a Canaanite wife?

Laban coerced Jacob into working an additional seven years in order to "marry" his other cousin Rachel (the one he truly loved and had already paid seven years wages for).

Gen:29:30: And he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years.
Gen:29:31: And when the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren.

God punished Rachel for a situation caused by Laban’s deceit. Is that divine justice?

Gen:30:1: And when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, Give me children, or else I die.
Gen:30:2: And Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel: and he said, Am I in God's stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb?
Gen:30:3: And she said, Behold my maid Bilhah, go in unto her; and she shall bear upon my knees that I may also have children by her.
Gen:30:4: And she gave him Bilhah her handmaid to wife: and Jacob went in unto her.

Who says history doesn’t repeat itself? Jacob's grandfather, Abraham, had been given his wife's maid to have sex with. Now Jacob was given his wife's maid to have sex with. But, not content with two wives and a mistress, Jacob started having sex with Leah's maid as well:

Gen:30:9: When Leah saw that she had left bearing, she took Zilpah her maid, and gave her Jacob to wife.

Elsewhere in the Bible Paul condemned fornicators and adulterers, and stated that they will not make it into the kingdom of heaven:

1Cor:6:9: Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
1Cor:6:10: Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Jacob seems to have had sex as often as he wanted, and with a variety of partners (even after having been married to the point of bigamy). Yet Jesus speaks of Jacob as being in the kingdom of heaven:

Lk:13:28: There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth, when ye shall see Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, and all the prophets, in the kingdom of God, and you yourselves thrust out.

In fact, God rewarded and blessed Jacob! So, does the Bible provide us with a clear and consistent guide on sexual conduct or marriage?

Gen:30:14: And Reuben went in the days of wheat harvest, and found mandrakes in the field, and brought them unto his mother Leah. Then Rachel said to Leah, Give me, I pray thee, of thy son's mandrakes.
Gen:30:15: And she said unto her, Is it a small matter that thou hast taken my husband? and wouldest thou take away my son's mandrakes also? And Rachel said, Therefore he shall lie with thee to night for thy son's mandrakes.
Gen:30:16: And Jacob came out of the field in the evening, and Leah went out to meet him, and said, Thou must come in unto me; for surely I have hired thee with my son's mandrakes. And he lay with her that night.
Gen:30:17: And God hearkened unto Leah, and she conceived, and bare Jacob the fifth son.
Gen:30:18: And Leah said, God hath given me my hire, because I have given my maiden to my husband: and she called his name Issachar.

So Rachel traded sex with her husband for mandrakes, and no one seemed to protest the crassness of it all.

Leah claimed that God was rewarding her for having given her maid to Jacob to have sex with!

Gen:30:22: And God remembered Rachel, and God hearkened to her, and opened her womb.

This implies that God is forgetful.

What changed so that God suddenly decided to take back his curse of bareness from Rachel? Had Jacob stopped hating Leah after having had sex with her so many times?

Gen:30:37: And Jacob took him rods of green poplar, and of the hazel and chesnut tree; and pilled white strakes in them, and made the white appear which was in the rods.
Gen:30:38: And he set the rods which he had pilled before the flocks in the gutters in the watering troughs when the flocks came to drink, that they should conceive when they came to drink.
Gen:30:39: And the flocks conceived before the rods, and brought forth cattle ringstraked, speckled, and spotted.
Gen:30:40: And Jacob did separate the lambs, and set the faces of the flocks toward the ringstraked, and all the brown in the flock of Laban; and he put his own flocks by themselves, and put them not unto Laban's cattle.
Gen:30:41: And it came to pass, whensoever the stronger cattle did conceive, that Jacob laid the rods before the eyes of the cattle in the gutters, that they might conceive among the rods.
Gen:30:42: But when the cattle were feeble, he put them not in: so the feebler were Laban's, and the stronger Jacob's.

This is sympathetic magic at its finest. Because the cattle see a speckled rod (a phallic symbol) when they conceive, they give birth to speckled offspring. The writer does not attribute this result to God’s miraculous intervention. He evidently assumes that such a ritual would naturally produce this result. Need I add that we know this is absurd?

Jacob makes the following assertion to his wives:

Gen:31:9: Thus God hath taken away the cattle of your father, and given them to me.
Gen:31:10: And it came to pass at the time that the cattle conceived, that I lifted up mine eyes, and saw in a dream, and, behold, the rams which leaped upon the cattle were ringstraked, speckled, and grisled.
Gen:31:11: And the angel of God spake unto me in a dream, saying, Jacob: And I said, Here am I.
Gen:31:12: And he said, Lift up now thine eyes, and see, all the rams which leap upon the cattle are ringstraked, speckled, and grisled: for I have seen all that Laban doeth unto thee.

Jacob once again lied in claiming that God had given him something. We just read of how Jacob performed a magical ritual in order to obtain speckled cattle. But he told his wives that God miraculously saw to it that only speckled rams mated. This is the second time that the Bible has clearly shown that Jacob lied about what God "gave" him. Given his record of dishonesty in such matters, how readily should we accept his claim that God gave him the land of the Canaanites and made Jacob’s descendants God’s "chosen people"?

Gen:32:24: And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day.
Gen:32:25: And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him.
Gen:32:26: And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me.
Gen:32:27: And he said unto him, What is thy name? And he said, Jacob.
Gen:32:28: And he said, Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed.
Gen:32:29: And Jacob asked him, and said, Tell me, I pray thee, thy name. And he said, Wherefore is it that thou dost ask after my name? And he blessed him there.
Gen:32:30: And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.
Gen:32:31: And as he passed over Penuel the sun rose upon him, and he halted upon his thigh.
Gen:32:32: Therefore the children of Israel eat not of the sinew which shrank, which is upon the hollow of the thigh, unto this day: because he touched the hollow of Jacob's thigh in the sinew that shrank.

The implication is that Jacob had wrestled all night with God’s angel (or possibly with God himself since Jacob says "I have seen God face to face"). In either case, it is ridiculous to imagine that a mortal man could "prevail" in such a contest against a supernatural being.

Why would God (or an angel of God) wrestle with Jacob all night? Jacob was supposedly already "blessed" by God. What was "proved" by this physical confrontation between man and a supposedly benevolent spirit being? What moral lesson is gleaned from this? Is it that we should fight against God (or his representatives) and force a blessing out of him?

It seems to me most likely that the story was simply concocted to explain a curious dietary taboo against eating a thigh sinew.

Verse 29, and the verses that follow it are in error by continuing to call Israel by his old name of Jacob. Back in verse 28, the supernatural wrestler had clearly said, "Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel."

Gen:33:10: And Jacob said, Nay, I pray thee, if now I have found grace in thy sight, then receive my present at my hand: for therefore I have seen thy face, as though I had seen the face of God, and thou wast pleased with me.

Here, the Bible hero formerly known as Jacob (and still mistakenly called Jacob by the writer of Genesis) said that seeing his brother’s face was like seeing the face of God. This puts his similar statement regarding the supernatural wrestler in a new perspective.

Gen:34:13: And the sons of Jacob answered Shechem and Hamor his father deceitfully, and said, because he had defiled Dinah their sister:
Gen:34:14: And they said unto them, We cannot do this thing, to give our sister to one that is uncircumcised; for that were a reproach unto us:
Gen:34:15: But in this will we consent unto you: If ye will be as we be, that every male of you be circumcised;
Gen:34:16: Then will we give our daughters unto you, and we will take your daughters to us, and we will dwell with you, and we will become one people.
Gen:34:17: But if ye will not hearken unto us, to be circumcised; then will we take our daughter, and we will be gone.
Gen:34:18: And their words pleased Hamor, and Shechem Hamor's son.
Gen:34:19: And the young man deferred not to do the thing, because he had delight in Jacob's daughter: and he was more honourable than all the house of his father.
Gen:34:20: And Hamor and Shechem his son came unto the gate of their city, and communed with the men of their city, saying,
Gen:34:21: These men are peaceable with us; therefore let them dwell in the land, and trade therein; for the land, behold, it is large enough for them; let us take their daughters to us for wives, and let us give them our daughters.
Gen:34:22: Only herein will the men consent unto us for to dwell with us, to be one people, if every male among us be circumcised, as they are circumcised.
Gen:34:23: Shall not their cattle and their substance and every beast of theirs be ours? only let us consent unto them, and they will dwell with us.
Gen:34:24: And unto Hamor and unto Shechem his son hearkened all that went out of the gate of his city; and every male was circumcised, all that went out of the gate of his city.
Gen:34:25: And it came to pass on the third day, when they were sore, that two of the sons of Jacob, Simeon and Levi, Dinah's brethren, took each man his sword, and came upon the city boldly, and slew all the males.
Gen:34:26: And they slew Hamor and Shechem his son with the edge of the sword, and took Dinah out of Shechem's house, and went out.
Gen:34:27: The sons of Jacob came upon the slain, and spoiled the city, because they had defiled their sister.
Gen:34:28: They took their sheep, and their oxen, and their asses, and that which was in the city, and that which was in the field,
Gen:34:29: And all their wealth, and all their little ones, and their wives took they captive, and spoiled even all that was in the house.
Gen:34:30: And Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, Ye have troubled me to make me to stink among the inhabitants of the land, among the Canaanites and the Perizzites: and I being few in number, they shall gather themselves together against me, and slay me; and I shall be destroyed, I and my house.

It appears that Shechem may have raped Israel’s daughter Dinah, though it is just as likely that he simply neglected to ask permission of her brothers before "marrying" her. We are nowhere given the most critically important information: how did Dinah feel about the matter? Did she return Shechem’s love, or did he force himself upon her? Apparently he made every effort afterwards to follow whatever protocol her brothers insisted upon, even to the point of self-mutilation. Shechem’s actions do not fit the profile of a rapist. Today we know that rape is a crime of violence, not of lust. Very few rapists declare their love for their victim and seek to marry them.

In any event, even if Shechem had raped Dinah, two wrongs do not make a right. Dinah’s brothers proceeded to lie, to steal, and to murder innocent people. They murdered people who trusted them and sought peaceful relations with them.

Israel (still erroneously called "Jacob" by the narrator) does not condemn his sons’ actions on any moral basis. He only fears the possible repercussions to himself and his house.

And what was God’s reaction to all of this?

Gen:35:1: And God said unto Jacob, Arise, go up to Bethel, and dwell there: and make there an altar unto God, that appeared unto thee when thou fleddest from the face of Esau thy brother.

Gen:35:5: And they journeyed: and the terror of God was upon the cities that were round about them, and they did not pursue after the sons of Jacob.

God doesn’t seem to care about the grave injustice perpetrated by Israel’s sons. Mass murder does not seem to concern him so much as his need for an altar. God evidently protected the murderers by inflicting "the terror of God" upon the populace so that they would not seek redress for their grievances against these people who had just massacred an entire village. This violates God’s stated promise to demand the life of a murderer (Gen. 9:6).

Gen:35:9: And God appeared unto Jacob again, when he came out of Padan-aram, and blessed him.Gen:35:10: And God said unto him, Thy name is Jacob: thy name shall not be called any more Jacob, but Israel shall be thy name: and he called his name Israel.

God evidently forgot that he’d already changed this man’s name from Jacob to Israel back in chapter 32 (verse 28). There he said that this man should no longer be known as "Jacob", yet here he calls him Jacob as if he’d never made the statement back in chapter 32.

Gen:35:11: And God said unto him, I am God Almighty: be fruitful and multiply; a nation and a company of nations shall be of thee, and kings shall come out of thy loins;
Gen:35:12: And the land which I gave Abraham and Isaac, to thee I will give it, and to thy seed after thee will I give the land.

Which meant, basically, that God would help Israel’s descendants steal the land from the Canaanites, and kill most of the native inhabitants of the land. Christians usually justify this by claiming that the Canaanites were very wicked people who deserved what they got. But what did we just read about Israel’s sons (the patriarchs of the twelve tribes of Israel)? They were liars, vandals, thieves, and murderers. They massacred an entire village full of people who sought to live peacefully together with them. It seems to me that it was the Israelites who were the evil people.

Gen:36:31: And these are the kings that reigned in the land of Edom, before there reigned any king over the children of Israel.

If Moses had written this, as was once widely believed (even by Jesus, who referred to the collection of these writings as "the book of Moses" (Mk 12:26)), how did he know that any king would ever rule over the Israelites? There had been no Israelite kings in his time, and not for a very long time after his death. This statement had to have been written after the time of Saul who was the first king of Israel, and hence could not have been written by Moses or his contemporaries.

Gen:37:25: And they sat down to eat bread: and they lifted up their eyes and looked, and, behold, a company of Ishmeelites came from Gilead with their camels bearing spicery and balm and myrrh, going to carry it down to Egypt.
Gen:37:26: And Judah said unto his brethren, What profit is it if we slay our brother, and conceal his blood?
Gen:37:27: Come, and let us sell him to the Ishmeelites, and let not our hand be upon him; for he is our brother and our flesh. And his brethren were content.
Gen:37:28: Then there passed by Midianites merchantmen; and they drew and lifted up Joseph out of the pit, and sold Joseph to the Ishmeelites for twenty pieces of silver: and they brought Joseph into Egypt.
Gen:37:29: And Reuben returned unto the pit; and, behold, Joseph was not in the pit; and he rent his clothes.
Gen:37:30: And he returned unto his brethren, and said, The child is not; and I, whither shall I go?

Gen:37:36: And the Midianites sold him into Egypt unto Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh's, and captain of the guard.

This account is muddled at best. We are told that the brothers saw the Ishmeelites (whether they also saw the Midianites we are not told). The brothers intended to pull Joseph out of the pit where they had previously tossed him, and sell him to the Ishmeelites. But evidently before they had an opportunity to carry out this plan, some Midianites came along and pulled Joseph out and sold him to the Ishmeelites. The Ishmeelites, now the proud owner of Joseph, took him to Egypt, where the Midianites somehow managed to sell him again (despite the fact that he was considered to be the property of the Ishmeelites at that point)! Somehow all of these events manage to elude Reuben.

Gen:38:7: And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him.

We are not told what Er had done that was so wicked that God decided to kill him. We have witnessed wicked people throughout history who lived to a ripe old age, so I wonder why God singled out Er for punishment.

Gen:38:8: And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.
Gen:38:9: And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
Gen:38:10: And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.

God decided that Onan’s feeble attempt at birth control was wicked enough to warrant death. So God killed both of Judah’s sons for their "wickedness". This is incredible when contrasted to the very serious evil committed by the men God protected, blessed, and rewarded. We have seen Cain, who committed fratricide, protected by God. Lot who committed incest with both of his daughters (supposedly without his knowing it) was also protected by God. Isaac, who had intended to murder his own son, was blessed by God as a reward for that murderous intention. The sons of Israel, who committed mass murder, were likewise blessed. God's favorites had pretty much gone the gamut on wickedness without reprisal. But Onan practiced withdrawal during the sex act: an action so heinous in God's mind that God decided to kill him.

Gen:38:11: Then said Judah to Tamar his daughter in law, Remain a widow at thy father's house, till Shelah my son be grown: for he said, Lest peradventure he die also, as his brethren did. And Tamar went and dwelt in her father's house.
Gen:38:12: And in process of time the daughter of Shuah Judah's wife died; and Judah was comforted, and went up unto his sheepshearers to Timnath, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite.
Gen:38:13: And it was told Tamar, saying, Behold thy father in law goeth up to Timnath to shear his sheep.
Gen:38:14: And she put her widow's garments off from her, and covered her with a vail, and wrapped herself, and sat in an open place, which is by the way to Timnath; for she saw that Shelah was grown, and she was not given unto him to wife.

From this it appears that Judah was not a man of his word. He promised Tamar that he would give her his son Shelah as soon as he was grown, to replace the husbands that God had killed. Yet Shelah was grown, and Judah had not kept his word. What moral lesson do we learn from this?

Gen:38:15: When Judah saw her, he thought her to be an harlot; because she had covered her face.
Gen:38:16: And he turned unto her by the way, and said, Go to, I pray thee, let me come in unto thee; (for he knew not that she was his daughter in law.) And she said, What wilt thou give me, that thou mayest come in unto me?
Gen:38:17: And he said, I will send thee a kid from the flock. And she said, Wilt thou give me a pledge, till thou send it?
Gen:38:18: And he said, What pledge shall I give thee? And she said, Thy signet, and thy bracelets, and thy staff that is in thine hand. And he gave it her, and came in unto her, and she conceived by him.

Judah’s wife had recently died, and here he had sex with what he thought was a harlot (but was really his former and future daughter-in-law who had disguised herself in order to trick him). What moral lesson do we learn from this?

Gen:38:24: And it came to pass about three months after, that it was told Judah, saying, Tamar thy daughter in law hath played the harlot; and also, behold, she is with child by whoredom. And Judah said, Bring her forth, and let her be burnt.

Here was a classic double standard. Judah thought nothing of having sex with a harlot, but when he heard a second-hand report that his former daughter-in-law was pregnant, he ordered her to be set on fire and burned to death! What moral lesson do we learn from this?

Gen:39:1: And Joseph was brought down to Egypt; and Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, captain of the guard, an Egyptian, bought him of the hands of the Ishmeelites, which had brought him down thither.

Here we are asked to believe that Ishmeelites sold Joseph to Potiphar. Earlier, we were asked to believe that it was Midianites who sold Joseph to Potiphar:

Gen:37:36: And the Midianites sold him into Egypt unto Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh's, and captain of the guard.

Gen:39:9: There is none greater in this house than I…

Joseph seemed a little stuck on himself. Here, as a slave in his master’s house, he declares himself "the greatest". Earlier he boasted to his brothers about dreams he had in which not only they, but the very stars and the moon came and bowed down to him (Gen. 27:5-20) (though it's unclear how a star could "bow"). It was this sort of bragging that got him dumped into a pit and sold into slavery in the first place.

Gen:40:8: And they said unto him, We have dreamed a dream, and there is no interpreter of it. And Joseph said unto them, Do not interpretations belong to God? tell me them, I pray you.

Gen:40:12: And Joseph said unto him, This is the interpretation of it…

After stating that interpretations belong to God, Joseph interprets their dreams. Evidently, Joseph’s conceit knew no bounds.

Gen:41:28: This is the thing which I have spoken unto Pharaoh: What God is about to do he sheweth unto Pharaoh.
Gen:41:29: Behold, there come seven years of great plenty throughout all the land of Egypt:
Gen:41:30: And there shall arise after them seven years of famine; and all the plenty shall be forgotten in the land of Egypt; and the famine shall consume the land;
Gen:41:31: And the plenty shall not be known in the land by reason of that famine following; for it shall be very grievous.
Gen:41:32: And for that the dream was doubled unto Pharaoh twice; it is because the thing is established by God, and God will shortly bring it to pass.

According to Joseph, God purposely brought seven years of "very grievous" famine to Egypt. It was not done in a fit of rage; he made up his mind to do this seven years ahead of time. Why? If God had the power to bring "years of great plenty" (as Joseph claims) why would he ever opt to bring years of "very grievous" famine? If one has it in one’s power to do good, but chooses to do evil instead, what do we call such a one?

Gen:44:2: And put my cup, the silver cup, in the sack's mouth of the youngest, and his corn money. And he did according to the word that Joseph had spoken.
Gen:44:3: As soon as the morning was light, the men were sent away, they and their asses.
Gen:44:4: And when they were gone out of the city, and not yet far off, Joseph said unto his steward, Up, follow after the men; and when thou dost overtake them, say unto them, Wherefore have ye rewarded evil for good?
Gen:44:5: Is not this it in which my lord drinketh, and whereby indeed he divineth? ye have done evil in so doing.

Having already coerced his brothers into bringing Benjamin to Egypt, there was no reason for Joseph to engage in this subterfuge. He could’ve simply told them who he was without framing them as thieves. When they are forcibly brought back to Joseph he does reveal himself, making the whole contrived incident pointless.

We also learn from this that, instead of hearing the voice of God telling him what the future held, Joseph used a cup in his fortune telling. This means he probably read tea leaves, as has been a common device of such charlatans from time immemorial to the present day.

Gen:46:27: And the sons of Joseph, which were born him in Egypt, were two souls: all the souls of the house of Jacob, which came into Egypt, were threescore and ten.

Threescore and ten amounts to 70. But elsewhere in the Bible we are told that this number was 75:

Acts:7:14: Then sent Joseph, and called his father Jacob to him, and all his kindred, threescore and fifteen souls.

Gen:47:9: And Jacob said unto Pharaoh, The days of the years of my pilgrimage are an hundred and thirty years: few and evil have the days of the years of my life been, and have not attained unto the days of the years of the life of my fathers in the days of their pilgrimage.

How odd that Israel (still erroneously referred to as "Jacob" by the narrator) would describe his life as consisting of evil days. This was the man who had received the magical blessing of Isaac (Gen. 27:28,29). This blessing assured him of a lifetime without want ("plenty of corn"), and the promise that nations would bow down to him. He had been blessed repeatedly by God, and God promised to be with him wherever he went (Gen. 28:14,15). Yet he experienced want during the famine, and had to kowtow to Pharaoh and to his own son in order to obtain enough corn to feed his family. His own evaluation of his life is given in the verse above, and it’s hardly what one would expect after all of the blessings he received unless those blessings didn’t amount to anything more than just words.

Gen:47:20: And Joseph bought all the land of Egypt for Pharaoh; for the Egyptians sold every man his field, because the famine prevailed over them: so the land became Pharaoh's.
Gen:47:21: And as for the people, he removed them to cities from one end of the borders of Egypt even to the other end thereof.

Gen:47:23: Then Joseph said unto the people, Behold, I have bought you this day and your land for Pharaoh: lo, here is seed for you, and ye shall sow the land.
Gen:47:24: And it shall come to pass in the increase, that ye shall give the fifth part unto Pharaoh, and four parts shall be your own, for seed of the field, and for your food, and for them of your households, and for food for your little ones.
Gen:47:25: And they said, Thou hast saved our lives: let us find grace in the sight of my lord, and we will be Pharaoh's servants.

After having taken all their money and cattle in exchange for the grain which they had originally grown (Gen 47:14-17), Joseph added insult to injury by enslaving the entire nation of Egypt and relocating them as he saw fit. On top of that, he instituted a twenty- percent tax.

Concentrating wealth into the hands of a few people (in this case, Pharaoh and Joseph) is recognized as a gross injustice. Throughout history such injustice has led to bloody rebellion in which the oppressed people fought against the tyrants for their fair share. Yet we are to believe that the Egyptians put up with this meddlesome foreigner and actually blessed him for all of his 'good' deeds!

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